Red Lobster

8407 W Markham St. Little Rock 72205 (501) 224-0940

Decor: Looks like the interior of a seaboat. Luckily, only the people sitting at the bar smell like it. There is a slight nautical theme with ugly seat coveers and lots of wood.

Cleanliness: It’s very clean… at first glance. Then you see the crumbs all over the floor from all the kids. The tables show smudges under reflected light.

Cost: Yowzers! Almost $10 a plate just for lunch makes you wonder how all the ghetto fabulous folk in the place can afford it.

Service: I hope you aren’t here on your lunch break. They are extremely slow, even when the place is not that busy. And it almost always is.

Taste: Most of the food is just ok. This place is very over-rated. The biscuits are awesome though. Colonel Sanders needs to see these and quit cooking up bricks.

Tips:

• You might have to walk from Kroger. It is always packed.
• If you see a parking spot, just grab it. You don’t have time to circle around.
• Forget coming here on Mother’s Day unless your momma doesn’t mind waiting all day. Our mommas do mind.

Captain D’s

6301 Colonel Glenn Road Little Rock, AR 72204 (501) 568-6244

Decor: Looks like a rundown pier inside. It matches up perfectly with the rundown neighborhood outside. The nautical theme is made more authentic by the seagulls circling the trash in the Kroger’s parking lot across the street. BTW, why are there seagulls in Arkansas?

Cleanliness: NONE! The last time we ate there, we found shredded plastic fried up in our fish and fries. Oh yeah, Ebony also discovered bugs in her drink. The floors were sticky, the tables were dirty and the tartar sauce matched the cook’s yellow teeth. It also worries us that they are right next door to an animal hospital.

Service: Horrible! When we returned the plastic food, we had to stand in line. There were five people “working” in there. One was frying up plastic fillets, one was yelling into her cellphone,two were sitting, while the manager was running the cash register and shouting at everyone else. We finally got our money back 15 minutes later.

Cost: It’s pretty cheap if you get the basic fish dinner. It starts adding up with the larger and specialty meals.

Taste: The fries aren’t salty, the fish isn’t bad, but it’s great if you like to eat plastic. Other Captain D’s have much better tasting food.
Tips:

• Don’t bother coming here. There is one in North Little Rock if you are craving it that bad.

Flying Fish

511 President Clinton Ave. Little Rock, AR 72201 (501) 375-3474

Decor: Looks like the inside of Grampaw’s tackle box.

Cleanliness: Looks cluttered and dusty because of the faded decorations, but actually quite clean.

Service: Order at the counter towards the back, then fish for a table. You have to pick up your own tray when the buzzer goes off.

Cost: About $7-8 per meal. Large, filling portions. More if you order beer. Way more if you order the bucket of beer.

Taste: We once ate here for 5 weekends in a row. It put another X in Mike’s shirt size. ‘Nuff said.

Tips:

• If you like your fish spicy, tell them to “Make it snappy!” It’s our favorite.
• Cheap meal for 2: get the 6 piece family pack. Feeds 2 real good!
• For a free meal, bring a singing fish plaque or show your fishing license.

Flying Fish is a fun place to go and a great place to take your family that’s visiting from out of town. There are fishing items all over the walls. The Liar’s Wall is covered with patrons’ fishing pictures. Another wall is covered with singing fish plaques. You can get all kinds of southern style seafood dishes like fish tacos, seafood gumbo, and oysters on the half shell. One small warning: you will crave this place every time you hear some dirty Mississippi mud blues.

After gorging yourself on fried catfish and hushpuppies, head over to the River Market and walk the Medical Mile to burn off some of that goodness or do some shopping with local vendors.